Hey kids, it's time for you meet the Greek Gods! ¬†Long before there were superheroes there were these guys and gals. ¬†In fact, the Greek Gods are where superheroes came from. ¬†We'd have no Batman without Zeus. ¬†Superman never would've happened without Hades. ¬†We never would've gotten to enjoy Iron Man without Poseidon. ¬†Each God has special powers, backstories, and adversity they must overcome. ¬†I think Greek Mythology is absolutely fascinating and if you ever want to take a fun class in college I recommend it. ¬†Ever since I was a kid I was a fan, so you cam imagine how much I watched the original 1981 Clash of the Titans. ¬†Sure it was campy and silly but it had some top-notch actors and special effects that blew people's minds back then. ¬†Fast forward to 2010 and how the studios try to not only recapture the box office magic that 300 created in early spring a few years ago but also relaunch the franchise of Greek Mythology. ¬†Who knows, maybe if the movie catches on we can see spin-offs of the Gods like they do with Superhero movies now. ¬†The problem is that this isn't good enough to achieve any of that. ¬†Let's start with the fact that it's been touted as a 3D movie; it's not. ¬†Clash of the Titans was never shot in 3D, but when they saw how 3D is the new Gold Rush and how it helped Avatar reach a new galaxy of greenbacks, they delayed Titans from opening and went through in post-production and gave it a tawdry 3D conversion. ¬†They failed with that and failed miserably. ¬†The faux 3D is so deplorable that it gave me a migraine and distorted the picture. ¬†Everything that movies like Avatar, How to Train Your Dragon and A Christmas Carol did for 3D, Clash of the Titans stands to undo and make people think it's not worth the extra money again. ¬†If you insist on seeing Clash of the Titans after reading this, make sure you see it in plain, old fashioned 2D. ¬†You will enjoy it more. ¬†They also casted Hollywood's new golden boy, Sam Worthington (Avatar, Terminator: Salvation) in this as Prometheus. ¬† Why Hollywood is so in love with this guy is beyond me. ¬†He wanders through the incredible story of Prometheus and his battle with the Gods (not the Titans so the title never made sense) in such a lazy way that it never once helps you feel that he's in any peril (or from Greece with that accent). ¬†Because he's been in blockbuster after blockbuster, Worthington is here to stay but for the love of Zeus, I have no idea why. ¬†There is a rumor I heard from friends of mine that work in film that this is being called "Trash of the Titans" in Hollywood. ¬†It's not quite that bad. ¬†The action sequences are pretty good but not a big enough payoff to sit through the terrible acting and clunky dialogue that goes on for too long in between. ¬†That even includes veterans like Liam Neeson (Taken, Batman Begins) and Ralph Fiennes (Harry Potter series, Schindler's List) who try their hardest to make their scenes work. ¬†And even though director Louis Leterrier did such a good job with Edward Norton's The Incredible Hulk, this falls flat. ¬†I still can't fully hate on it though because it's about the Greek Gods. ¬†It's exciting to me to see Medusa and Acrisius fighting our heroes. ¬†I hope that if anything comes from this, it's that more movies about the Greek Gods should be made...just made right.
Clash of the Titans (Rated PG-13)
Gavin Grade: C-