Friday the 13th (Rated R)
Gavin Grade: F
I like horror movies! I truly do!  Not only am I fan of horror movies, but I'm even a fan of re-making horror movies.  I think that the classic horrors can always use a touch-up and a sprucing in the story department.  However, the re-make of "Friday the 13th" was simply a reminder of why this franchise was always my least favorite.  Jason, in comparison with the other big ones (ie: Leatherface, Freddy Kruger and Michael Myers) always seemed so stilted in his folklore.  I never even really understood it.  Is he alive, dead, a demon...what?  And considering that they marketed this as a re-make, they didn't do anything to help explain that.  In fact it's not much of a re-make at all.  If anything it just felt like another terrible sequel; almost like one last attempt to kick-start a dead franchise.  But in the movie's defense, that's all any of these re-makes are.  "Texas Chainsaw Massacre," "The Hills Have Eyes," "Halloween" were all trying to squeeze more cash from them, but they all brought something new to the table.  "Friday the 13th" not only doesn't bring anything new, they don't even bring anything old.  Sure there's still the violence, sex and startles, but it's executed in such a piss-poor manner that it screams "zero effort."  It's like they knew this was gonna make them some money, so all they did was hire gorgeous (subpar) actors, whip up a mindless script and then throw lots of money at it to see if it works.  Well, it didn't.  It didn't scare.  It didn't make me laugh.  It didn't make me jump.  The only thing it did was make me wish that the forthcoming re-makes of "Nightmare on Elm Street," "Hellraiser" and "Last House on the Left" don't follow suit.
Coraline (Rated PG)
Gavin Grade: A-
I recently read the review for this movie in Entertainment Weekly and they said that what's so perfect about "Coraline" is that it finds an audience in everyone.  I would say that they're wrong and in fact it's the exact opposite; it may find an audience in no one.  This new movie from director Henry Selick (Nightmare Before Christmas) is too childish for adults and way too terrifying for children.  But that's not to say that the movie isn't great.  When I went to see it, I saw it in 3D, which I'm pretty sure is the only way to see it.  I can only describe seeing this in a theater in 3D as being a total experience; an event.  The fact that it's stop-motion claymation and is also in 3D makes it feel like you've stuck your head inside a moving diorama, like those things you made out of shoeboxes in Elementary School.  And the visuals that you see while inside these dioramas are stunning!  That aside, the story is also fantastic!  It's gothic and creepy, but still totally appealing to the kid in all of us that dreams of a better world.  Of course that was easy to achieve in the movie since the book, by Neil Gaiman, has already been such a success.  The acting was good too from the voices of Dakota Fanning and Teri Hatcher.  The only flaw in "Coraline" was the script.  It was written for the screen by Selick and the dialogue verged on downright idiotic...even for a kid's movie.  Because of that, the movie feels every second of it's 101 minute runtime.  However, I can forgive the script being so bad since you spend much of the time getting lost in the consuming worlds of the film.  But be warned that those worlds are probably too scary for most young kids out there.
Friday the 13th (Rated R)
Gavin Grade: F
I like horror movies! I truly do!  Not only am I fan of horror movies, but I'm even a fan of re-making horror movies.  I think that the classic horrors can always use a touch-up and a sprucing in the story department.  However, the re-make of "Friday the 13th" was simply a reminder of why this franchise was always my least favorite.  Jason, in comparison with the other big ones (ie: Leatherface, Freddy Kruger and Michael Myers) always seemed so stilted in his folklore.  I never even really understood it.  Is he alive, dead, a demon...what?  And considering that they marketed this as a re-make, they didn't do anything to help explain that.  In fact it's not much of a re-make at all.  If anything it just felt like another terrible sequel; almost like one last attempt to kick-start a dead franchise.  But in the movie's defense, that's all any of these re-makes are.  "Texas Chainsaw Massacre," "The Hills Have Eyes," "Halloween" were all trying to squeeze more cash from them, but they all brought something new to the table.  "Friday the 13th" not only doesn't bring anything new, they don't even bring anything old.  Sure there's still the violence, sex and startles, but it's executed in such a piss-poor manner that it screams "zero effort."  It's like they knew this was gonna make them some money, so all they did was hire gorgeous (subpar) actors, whip up a mindless script and then throw lots of money at it to see if it works.  Well, it didn't.  It didn't scare.  It didn't make me laugh.  It didn't make me jump.  The only thing it did was make me wish that the forthcoming re-makes of "Nightmare on Elm Street," "Hellraiser" and "Last House on the Left" don't follow suit.
Coraline (Rated PG)
Gavin Grade: A-
I recently read the review for this movie in Entertainment Weekly and they said that what's so perfect about "Coraline" is that it finds an audience in everyone.  I would say that they're wrong and in fact it's the exact opposite; it may find an audience in no one.  This new movie from director Henry Selick (Nightmare Before Christmas) is too childish for adults and way too terrifying for children.  But that's not to say that the movie isn't great.  When I went to see it, I saw it in 3D, which I'm pretty sure is the only way to see it.  I can only describe seeing this in a theater in 3D as being a total experience; an event.  The fact that it's stop-motion claymation and is also in 3D makes it feel like you've stuck your head inside a moving diorama, like those things you made out of shoeboxes in Elementary School.  And the visuals that you see while inside these dioramas are stunning!  That aside, the story is also fantastic!  It's gothic and creepy, but still totally appealing to the kid in all of us that dreams of a better world.  Of course that was easy to achieve in the movie since the book, by Neil Gaiman, has already been such a success.  The acting was good too from the voices of Dakota Fanning and Teri Hatcher.  The only flaw in "Coraline" was the script.  It was written for the screen by Selick and the dialogue verged on downright idiotic...even for a kid's movie.  Because of that, the movie feels every second of it's 101 minute runtime.  However, I can forgive the script being so bad since you spend much of the time getting lost in the consuming worlds of the film.  But be warned that those worlds are probably too scary for most young kids out there.
