Friday the 13th (Rated R)
Gavin Grade: F
I like horror movies! I truly do! Â Not only am I fan of horror movies, but I'm even a fan of re-making horror movies. Â I think that the classic horrors can always use a touch-up and a sprucing in the story department. Â However, the re-make of "Friday the 13th" was simply a reminder of why this franchise was always my least favorite. Â Jason, in comparison with the other big ones (ie: Leatherface, Freddy Kruger and Michael Myers) always seemed so stilted in his folklore. Â I never even really understood it. Â Is he alive, dead, a demon...what? Â And considering that they marketed this as a re-make, they didn't do anything to help explain that. Â In fact it's not much of a re-make at all. Â If anything it just felt like another terrible sequel; almost like one last attempt to kick-start a dead franchise. Â But in the movie's defense, that's all any of these re-makes are. Â "Texas Chainsaw Massacre," "The Hills Have Eyes," "Halloween" were all trying to squeeze more cash from them, but they all brought something new to the table. Â "Friday the 13th" not only doesn't bring anything new, they don't even bring anything old. Â Sure there's still the violence, sex andÂ startles, but it's executed in such a piss-poor manner that it screams "zero effort." Â It's like they knew this was gonna make them some money, so all they did was hire gorgeous (subpar) actors, whip up a mindless script and then throw lots of money at it to see if it works. Â Well, it didn't. Â It didn't scare. Â It didn't make me laugh. Â It didn't make me jump. Â The only thing it did was make me wish that the forthcoming re-makes of "Nightmare on Elm Street," "Hellraiser" and "Last House on the Left" don't follow suit.
Coraline (Rated PG)
Gavin Grade: A-
I recently read the review for this movie in Entertainment Weekly and they said that what's so perfect about "Coraline" is that it finds an audience in everyone. Â I would say that they're wrong and in fact it's the exact opposite; it may find an audience in no one. Â This new movie from director Henry Selick (Nightmare Before Christmas) is too childish for adults and way too terrifying for children. Â But that's not to say that the movie isn't great. Â When I went to see it, I saw it in 3D, which I'm pretty sure is the only way to see it. Â I can only describe seeing this in a theater in 3D as being a totalÂ experience; an event. Â The fact that it's stop-motion claymation and is also in 3D makes it feel like you've stuck your head inside a movingÂ diorama, like those things you made out of shoeboxes in Elementary School. Â And the visuals that you see while inside these dioramas are stunning! Â That aside, the story is also fantastic! Â It's gothic and creepy, but still totally appealing to the kid in all of us that dreams of a better world. Â Of course that was easy to achieve in the movie since the book, by Neil Gaiman, has already been such a success. Â The acting was good too from the voices of Dakota Fanning and Teri Hatcher. Â The only flaw in "Coraline" was the script. Â It was written for the screen by Selick and the dialogue verged on downright idiotic...even for a kid's movie. Â Because of that, the movie feels every second of it's 101 minute runtime. Â However, I can forgive the script being so bad since you spend much of the time getting lost in the consuming worlds of the film. Â But be warned that those worlds are probably too scary for most young kids out there.