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Gavin Grades The Movies

Posts from February 2010

The Crazies
by Gavin , posted Feb 25 2010 10:39PM
Hey Tea Baggers, militia members and other nuts who are afraid of the government, heed my warning and do NOT go see this film because it will probably be one of the scariest movies you've ever seen.  The Crazies is a remake of an old George Romero movie, by the same name, that wasn't very good and didn't get good reviews.  The only reason why people remember the original 1973 Crazies is mostly because it's a Romero film that isn't about zombies...kind of.  (Oh, for those of you who don't know, George A. Romero is the Godfather of zombies.  He's the master behind the Night of the Living Dead films and the reason why we even have zombies in movies today.)  This remake however, which was directed by Breck Eisner, is original where it has to be original and traditional where it has to be traditional.  Eisner is relatively new to filmmaking and very new to the horror genre.  That might have helped here since the look of the movie is fantastic.  Large chunks of the film don't look or feel like horror at all.  Some of the scariest scenes happen in broad daylight or in open fields.  He also didn't lean too heavy on the violence to carry the movie through its 100 minutes.  Don't get me wrong, there's puddles of violence; but it's not used as a crutch to make the movie scary.  The horror from The Crazies is from a simple few elements: core characters fighting for survival that are in constant peril, fear of disease, marauding monsters that used to be family and friends, the destruction of a small town and a government that's drunk with power.  You put those things in a movie and I'm hooked.  Now The Crazies didn't do it as well as say Frank Darabont's The Mist did or Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later; those are in the Top 25 Greatest Horror Movies of All Time, if you ask me.  No, The Crazies isn't that good, but it is still good.  It delivers the scares at just the right places and even though most are the "make you jump" scares that usually come from simply a loud sound effect, it also has the disturbing, prolonged images that when paired with pure silence, are much more effective.  The acting is adequate given that it stars Timothy Olyphant (Scream 2 aka Worst Scream Killer in the series) and Radha Mitchell, who last bored us in Surrogates.  These two aren't exactly masters of the thespian arts, but considering that they were given a script that was subpar at best, they did just fine.  The Crazies won't win any awards or appear on anyone's Favorite Horror Movie list, but it'll give you your $10 worth if all you're looking for is a creepy horror movie that makes you unsure of who to be more scared of - the government or your neighbor. The Crazies (Rated R) Gavin Grade: B-
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Cop Out
by Gavin , posted Feb 25 2010 10:06PM
Director Kevin Smith was in the news recently for getting kicked off a Southwest flight because he was too fat to take up one seat.  He was all over the entertainment shows and blogs and movie sites online for weeks.  Remember when he used to get that kind of press because he made good movies?  Yeah, I'm starting to forget those days too.  Cop Out stars Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan as detectives trying to bust up a Mexican drug ring in New York City.  Does that sound cliche to you?  I hope so because that's the intention of the movie.  Cop Out was made with the purpose of being a walking-talking cliche of all the "Buddy Cop" action/comedy movies you've ever seen.  Think Lethal Weapon, Bad Boys, and 48 Hours, but in this case it's directed by a guy who's used to making low-budget "d*ck'n'fart joke" comedies.  The fact that it's a cliche is perfectly fine.  That's not what's wrong with the movie.  In fact, that's a very funny premise since it's such an easy genre to mock without making fun.  The problem is that if you are going to do that you have to make the action, ass-kicking and the comedy, side-splitting.  Cop Out was more on the funny side but far from side-splitting and lacked so much action it was downright boring.  The film had scenes of pure hilarious moments followed by grueling dry spells of failed punchlines and awful improv.  Sadly, that could be said for all of Kevin Smith's movies in the past decade; pretty sad for the guy who created Chasing Amy and Dogma.  That might have been because Tracy Morgan isn't funny in large dosages and Bruce Willis is sentenced to play the "straight guy" to Morgan's dummy and that's a waste of good talent.  Of course it doesn't help when you pepper in hackie performances from Smith alumni Jason Lee (Chasing Amy, Mallrats), the inexplicably famous Sean William Scott (American Pie) and a villain played by newcomer Guillermo Diaz, who's not bad but acts like he's either deaf, retarded or a deaf retard.  There are those people out there that will go to see this and expect nothing new, clever or groundbreaking; and they will probably tell you that this movie is great.  And you know, as long as you're okay with spending money on stuff like that, then to you it probably is.  But if you want to see a movie that is the EXACT same film; that lampoons the cliche "Buddy Cop" action/comedy movie and not only does it perfectly, but pays perfect homage to the genre without mocking its genetic make up - go rent the 2007 Edgar Wright movie Hot Fuzz staring the brilliant Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead, Star Trek).  I just wish Kevin Smith would've done that before making Cop Out so he could've picked up a few pointers. Cop Out (Rated R) Gavin Grade: D+ Want to win tickets to join me at a screening of Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland in IMAX 3D?  Then click here!!!
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Shutter Island
by Gavin , posted Feb 18 2010 9:46PM
The last time director Martin Scorsese teamed up with Leonardo DiCaprio, it was for The Departed and they shot their way to an Oscar win for Best Picture.  During the filming of Shutter Island they must've thought that was a chance to do it again and planned on releasing it in the fall so it would be eligible for Oscars.  Then someone must've realized that that was never going to happen and had it come out in mid-February instead; the quagmire of awfulness in the movie season.  I'm a HUGE fan of Scorsese, DiCaprio and especially when they work together.  Leo has quickly become the new DeNiro, as far as how many movies they've done together.  Shutter Island is a psychological thriller that's wound so tight it makes the 138 minute runtime seem like three days.  I could begin to tell you what it's about but reading it would take you as long as it would to watch it.  The good news is that it has an impressive cast like Mark Ruffalo (Zodiac), Ben Kingsley (Ghandi), Jackie Earl Haley (Watchmen) and Max Von Sydow (The Exorcist), who hasn't aged in 40 years.  Everyone in the movie is great.  In fact this might be one of the best performances that DiCaprio has given in his already boastful career.  It's dark, complex, revealing and both brutal and sensitive at the same time.  It was a loaded character for him to take on.  Scorsese does an incredible job directing...of course, and reminds me of his work on Cape Fear.  The production design, sets and location are so inspired that it could almost tell the story without saying a word.  In fact one of the best parts of the movie is the musical score, which was composed by Robbie Robertson.  The music is brooding and menacing and sets the tone for the film.  It's just as scary as the island itself when you first see it.  It truly is amazing.  Sadly, the movie isn't.  Shutter Island is too complex for its own good.  The story has secrets, twists and turns; that should come as no surprise.  I don't mind following a film down rabbit trails in plot twists, but Shutter Island has too many.  By the time the ending comes with its big revelation, you're so confused by the last 45 minutes that you have no idea how to process the ending.  As the film was building to its climax, I was so optimistic that the ending was gonna blow me away, a la The Usual Suspects or The Game.  It doesn't though.  The movie starts off like a powerful locomotive, chugging it's way down the track, building speed and looking damn good doing it; but somewhere along the way it runs out of steam, slows down and gets clunky.  I wouldn't have minded that so much if the ending was epic, but it wasn't, so I did.  I would imagine that Shutter Island watches much better a second time around.  It was made like a classic Hitchcock thriller and was not meant to be enjoyed all at once on the first viewing.  The problem is that I need to block off an entire day to find the time to watch the 2 and a half hour long movie to see and it just wasn't good enough to make me think it's worth it. Shutter Island (Rated R) Gavin Grade: B
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Valentine's Day
by Gavin , posted Feb 11 2010 9:37PM
I live my life by only a few rules.  These rules were passed down to me from generations that came before me and should never be doubted.  One of those rules is "If Ashton Kutcher is in a movie, there's a really good chance that it's going to be awful."  It's good to know that that rule continues to be true.  Valentine's Day was directed by Gary Marshall, who I happen to respect a lot.  He's given us good movies like Pretty Woman, Frankie and Johnny and The Lottery.  He's also given us crap like Runaway Bride and The Other Sister.  Valentine's Day is an example of how a respected man who has lived and operated in Hollywood for the past 40 years can assemble a dream cast of all-stars and still have a movie that ends up in his crap column.  Besides Kutcher in the movie you also get to see Julia Roberts, Patrick Dempsey, Jennifer Gardner, Kathy Bates, Hector Elizondo, Jessica Biel, Bradley Cooper, Taylor Launter (no, he does not take his shirt off or turn into a wolf) and Jamie Foxx just to name a few.  (Note to Jamie Foxx: getting a tattoo on your head was probably the worst idea you've ever had.  We can see it through your hair and I can't buy you in any role now other than the egomaniacal character known as Jamie Foxx.)  Those are just SOME of the stars in this movie.  You can't swing a dead cat without hitting one.  The sad part is that with a cast this impressive you still have a horrible, lousy movie.  The script was written by three women which is surprising because there's no story.  It's about one day, Valentine's Day of course, in L.A. and little stories about all these different couples and how they intertwine and interact with each other.  Imagine a Guy Ritchie movie like Snatch if it was about romantic relationships and didn't suck.  I'm a fan of the multi-character, interweaving story but if you're gonna do that, don't set it in Los Angeles.  Now, I've never lived there but after watching this movie I didn't realize that it was as small, intimate and safe as Grover's Corner.  I didn't realize that there's only one high school and you run into people you know or just met all the time in the course of one day.  The glaring lack of detail in the story-lines is hilarious!  (Eric Dane is in it as a Quarterback for an NFL team, yet L.A. has no NFL team...just one example)  To top it all off, there's nothing NOT predictable and cliche about this movie.  That's because it's every romantic comedy you've ever seen mashed up in one film and performed with the brevity of Cliff Notes.  The beautiful part about this movie is that it's going to make an assload of cash just because it's called Valentine's Day and it comes out on Valentine's Day.  Be warned though: the movie doesn't ooze romanticism or make you feel all mushy.  It doesn't make you laugh without insulting your intelligence.  And it doesn't do anything, and I mean NOTHING, to make you feel like going to see Valentine's Day on Valentine's Day was a good idea.  Chances are if you're someone who really likes to celebrate this holiday with your love, you'll leave the theater wishing you did pretty much anything else instead.  Save yourself the $20 and over 2 hour runtime (yes, you read that right) and think of another romantic idea for the date.  You'll be glad you did. Valentine's Day (Rated PG-13) Gavin Grade: D-
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The Wolfman
by Gavin , posted Feb 11 2010 9:33PM
In 1941, a movie came out that terrified the world and was another building block in establishing Universal Studios as THE home of horror.  This remake of the classic Wolfman movie is the first of many more remakes of the Universal Studios oldies but goodies to come...and THAT'S something to be scared of.  This gloomy, period piece stays fairly true to the original story and does a better-than-expected job at duplicating the atmosphere and tone that the original had.  There are barren woods filled with mysterious fog and crumbling mansions that are being devoured by dead ivy.  The Production Designer and Set Decorator did an incredible job with making the look of the film just as scary as the wolfman himself.  It's dark and dank on every square inch of the film, symbolic animals are littered everywhere from obvious stuffed heads on walls to patterns on decorative vases, and even the simplicity of some scenes are aiding to the mood in the way they even have gathered muck in the corners of hospital rooms.    The Director is Joe Johnston, who doesn't have much to be proud of attached to his credits...that is unless you actually liked Jurassic Park III or Hildalgo.  But he was a rush job on this project getting signed as a replacement director only weeks before shooting began.  Keeping that in mind, he did a pretty good job.  The movie looked great; I just wish he was paying attention to the acting and script just as much as the visuals.  Benicio Del Toro stars in this as the Lawrence Talbot character who turns into the titular character later.  This was a passion project for him.  He was the Producer as well and fought for years to get this movie made.  Quite ironic considering he's the key reason to its sinking.  Del Toro is a good, Oscar-winning actor, but he looks like he filmed this movie while under heavy sedation.  He lacks every bit of the performance that Lon Chaney Jr. gave the wolfman in the original film.  And his drowsy, lazy performance must have rubbed off on the cast which includes the usually impressive Anthony Hopkins, Emily Blunt (The Devil Wears Prada, Sunshine Cleaning) and Hugo Weaving (V for Vendetta, The Matrix).  The whole cast sucks!  It's like Del Toro was so exhausted from trying to get the movie made that he didn't have the energy to film the movie and that made everyone else think it was okay to also take naps after "Action!" was called.  The one good thing about The Wolfman is seeing real-deal monster make-up again.  After the horribly pitiful-looking werewolves in New Moon, this stands as a reminder of why werewolves are scary.  Oscar-winning legend Rick Baker did the wolfman make-up on Del Toro and even though he did it before with An American Werewolf in London, he still managed to make it look different and new.  Even though they utilized CG effects for some of the faster action sequences, much to my chagrin, it still sent a chill up my spine to see the wolfman prowling the woods in the fog looking for his next victim and then letting out the infamous howl at the full moon after the kill.  Oh and speaking of "kill," this movie is rated "R" for a reason.  The violence in this is fun but very, very graphic...leave the kids at home.  Plus, it actually has some great scares in it too, so even if there weren't disemboweling and decapitations it would be too intense for them.  But if you're looking for a good scare that's filled with perfect mythology, quality performances and chilling ambiance that has inspired generations of filmmakers and storytellers, rent the original 1941 The Wolfman and watch it at night during a full moon. The Wolfman (Rated R) Gavin Grade: C-
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From Paris with Love
by Gavin , posted Feb 4 2010 8:15PM
There are some movies that are made that make you HATE Quentin Tarantino.  He didn't have anything to do with these movie directly, but was the reason why they are so bad.  That reason is because Tarantino made the cinematic opus Pulp Fiction - the film that relaunched John Travolta's career.  If it wasn't for Pulp Fiction being so good, John Travolta would've continued to drift away into obscurity and Scientology and we would never have to sit through another crappy Travolta acting job again.  Just think about how nice it would be if Old Dogs, Wild Hogs, Taking of Pelham 123, and now From Paris with Love either didn't exist or had someone else cast in those roles.  Ah, that's a nice thought.  In all honesty, From Paris with Love is much better than I expected.  I prepared to sit down with my friend Dan and watch a cliche, cookie-cutter action movie about the uptight, by-the-book partner and the crazy, by-his-own-rules partner shoot and kill their way to a solved mystery.  That's exactly what I got but it was more enjoyable than I thought it would be.  Movies like that are like a warm security blanket to most guys.  It's why the Lethal Weapon series did so well and Bad Boys, Men in Black and even Sherlock Holmes triumph.  You know what it feels like, you know what to expect and  you know it'll all be the same but you like it that way.  This particular story was created by Luc Besson, who was the French action guru behind The Fifth Element and The Messenger.  Sadly, he didn't direct this though and only came up with the story.  Instead he handed the directing off to Pierre Morel, who last gave us Taken, which was a shockingly great movie.  He also cast Jonathan Rhys Myers in the film, who usually gives a halfway decent performance when he's not modeling Calvin Klein and some kind of awful cologne.  The problem with the film comes from Travolta.  I'm just not a fan of his.  I don't like him when he's an angel walking through middle America granting wishes and I don't like it when he's a foul-mouthed killer that either looks like Elvis or scary Curly from The Three Stooges.  For some reason, watching John Travolta swear is like hearing your grandmother swear, it's uncomfortable and you don't know why.  There's no reason why she shouldn't swear but it just sounds weird and stilted coming from her mouth...same with Travolta.  He is, however, 100% of the charisma and funny lines of this movie, but it's still weird to watch.  As far as the story goes, I actually thought it was good.  My friend Dan liked it too, but he said it was predictable since he foresaw a plot twist that I totally didn't see coming.  Either he's a genius that should be writing screenplays or I'm too stupid to see glaring predictability in this film.  Either way it still serves its purpose; I expected violence, guns, swearing, one-liners, violence, killing, car chases, violence, drugs and of course violence and that's exactly what I got.  The fact that I chuckled occasionally and didn't see the (possibly obvious) plot twists coming makes it all that much better. From Paris with Love (Rated R) Gavin Grade: C+
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