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Gavin Grades The Movies

Posts from August 2010

The Last Exorcism
by Gavin , posted Nov 2 2011 7:20PM
Aristotle was not only one of the best philosophical minds of all time, but he was also a caddy bitch-of-a-critic.  He invented a saying "Deus ex Machina," which is Latin for "god out of a machine."  I know that seems odd to bring up in a review for a horror film, but it basically means a great story with a horrible ending.  Aristotle HATED when he would spend the whole play getting deeply invested in the characters who find themselves in an impossibly entertaining and twisted plot just to have the whole freaking thing ruined by an ending (in his case) where a god would simply get lowered on the stage and fix everything.  It's lazy writing.  The Last Exorcism is just that!  This film is fantastic at first!  It is directed by newcomer Daniel Stamm in a mock documentary approach.  The reason for the documentary is to follow the main character, a preacher played excellently by Patrick Fabian (Big Love), in his quest to show how exorcisms are fake and religion in general is pretty much a sham.  It starts off very funny with some true laugh-out-loud moments.  He then finds himself performing a fake exorcism over the body of young Nell, who's played by the new and lovely Ashley Bell.  But we quickly learn that she might actually be possessed by a real demon.  The movie goes from funny to really scary in two seconds flat, with a scene that's more creepy than shock.  We see Bell bend and contort her body into awful and painful positions (these were real too since she has a background in ballet).  With that sudden switch in to 5th gear fear, I was hooked as an audience member.  The movie gets tense and spooky.  More and more discoveries are made about the characters that makes us think that there's more going on than just a classic ghost story about the devil in an innocent girl.  What started as a comedy, then bloomed into a horror actually starts rolling into a well-crafted mystery.  Then, as if the writers had no idea how to end it, the whole thing comes crashing down in a climax that isn't scary, isn't logical, isn't creative or even entertaining.  It's like eating a fantastic sandwich that has an aftertaste of old earwax - it's so bad it ruins the good parts.  I believe that no ending would've been better than the ending they created.  The good thing about this film though is that it continues to allow The Exorcist to rein supreme as the scariest film about possession of all time.  What they did in that movie was taboo and broke down walls of taste and preconceived notions of what horror could be. The Last Exorcism impresses at first with it working within the PG-13 perimeters but then feels stifled by them.  I understand that the mock documentary style of filmmaking is hard to squeeze an ending out of.  People bitched about the endings of Cloverfield, Paranormal Activity and Quarantine too.  But those films understood the problem and came to the conclusion that less is more and perhaps the simpler solution is the better ending.  I would agree with that and it would've helped this film.  Now I don't want anyone to think that I don't want movies to have plots twists and turns in them.  Just make sure that, as a writer, you don't get twisted up in your twists and you can still explain your way out.  An ending is more important than the whole of the film and The Last Exorcism is a prime example of that. The Last Exorcism  (Rated PG-13) Gavin Grade: C-
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Piranha 3D
by Gavin , posted Nov 2 2011 7:20PM
Elisabeth Shue (Leaving Las Vegas, Hollow Man) is an Oscar-winning actress and rarely performs in films anymore.  So what the hell would get someone like her to not only agree to appear in a tawdry remake of an already tawdry film from the '70s but be the star of it too?!!?  Probably the same thing that got Ving Rhames (Pulp Fiction, Dawn of the Dead), Christopher Lloyd (Back to the Future series, Clue), Jerry O'Connell (Jerry Maguire, Scream 2) and Richard Dreyfuss (W., Close Encounters of the Third Kind), who not only show up in the film but reprise his amazing role of Matt Hooper from Jaws, to agree to be in it!  I'm still not really sure what that something was though.  Could it be gobs of money that was thrown at them?  Doubtful.  Maybe the naked women that run 50-yards-deep in some scenes for the film?  Eh, I think they're above that.  Or was it the chance to work with skilled French horror director Alexandre Aja (High Tension, The Hills Have Eyes) on something that was made to purely be a good time at the movies and nothing more?   Probably that.  Piranha 3D is a throwback to when horror films were full of cheap scares, lots of boobs and buckets of blood.  If that's all you want to see, then you won't be disappointed one bit.  If there isn't a frame of this film that doesn't have naked women, shredded flesh or both in it, then it's showing off with some kind of campy, overt 3D effect.  What's enjoyable about the film though is the level of commitment the actors give the characters.  They sink their teeth (no pun intended) into the roles and don't over-play them but don't make you feel like they're coasting through it either.  It's almost like a comedy duo where the actors are the "straight guy" and the film itself is the "funny guy."  They're in on the joke but know the joke would be over if they didn't make you almost believe they didn't know it was funny.  The gory violence comes on quick and once it does, the screen runs red with so much carnage that I can't remember when a film last delivered a comparable level.  The pinnacle of the Piranha 3D is when the thousands of fish feast on the hundreds of college Spring Breakers in an orgy of chaos that is so excessive in not only violence but also scale and performances by all the scantily clad extras, that you can't help but to laugh at the thought of how much fun it must have been to film.  However, as delightfully awful as that scene is, the movie lacks something.  When a film intentionally sets out to be a cult classic, it's very difficult for it to stick that landing with A+ precision.  Although the film is meant to be stupid and silly, if there's nothing to make people want to see it again, you don't get a cult film...you get something stupid and silly.  A cult classic has to be something that's so much fun to watch it keeps you coming back for more and compels you to show all your friends. Piranha 3D wasn't that, but it gave a fair attempt.  But I have a feeling that it's going to lose even more "cult" quality when it moves to DVD and has to be viewed without the 3D gimmick.  Because seeing a piranha devour a human penis and then burp it back up just isn't the same in 2D. Piranha 3D  (Rated R) Gavin Grade: B-
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Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
by Gavin , posted Nov 2 2011 7:20PM
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is a more fitting title than the team behind this film understands.  I went to see this on the opening Saturday night at the 7:00 show and the theater was filled with 14 people.  Could it be that America is so uninterested in originality and something they've never seen before that this movie will become a flop?  I sure hope not.  It's hard to describe this film to people who haven't seen it.  You could say that it's a romantic comedy about hipsters in bands where the actors had to learn Kung Fu to film it.  Another way could be what a video game about falling in love would look like.  If any of that sounds slightly appealing to you, then don't walk...run to see this.  Scott Pilgrim is an awkward, skinny guy in a band who falls in love with a girl.  So naturally for a role like that the go-to guy is, of course, Michael Cera.  The guy is still funny but I wonder how long he's gonna ride that "I'm Michael Cera playing Michael Cera" out.  I also wonder what the perpetually-looking 15-year-old will look like when he's 50.  Within the first 3 minutes of this movie, director Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) takes you out of reality.  It's not a sudden jump into the pool though; he eases you into it.  Trust me, you need to dip your toes into his world first because otherwise people would get up and leave if we suddenly saw how bizarre it will get by the end.  The "fantasy" that Wright takes us to is treating Scott Pilgrim's romance like a video game.  And like any good video game it has to have levels and in this case it's defeating his new love, who's played by the stunningly gorgeous Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Live Free or Die Hard, Grindhouse), who has 7 Evil Exes.  And yes, that even means that when Scott defeats them they turn into coins!!  Everything about this movie is full throttle - the comedy, the action, the editing, the directing.  It's hands-down one of the most aggressively creative movies I've seen in the last decade.  It's based on the graphic novel by Bryan Lee O'Malley but brought to life with the attention to detail that 300 was.  The only complaint with the film is that it does get a little long in some parts and feels like it forgets it's a comedy.  But those moments don't last more than five or six minutes and we're right back to the bizarreness.  It takes me back to my original point though - will this film be seen by the amount of people it deserves to be?  If my screening is any indication, the answer is no.  That's really too bad for Scott Pilgrim.  I don't want to see The World win this battle. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World  (Rated PG-13) Gavin Grade: A-
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Eat Pray Love
by Gavin , posted Nov 2 2011 7:20PM
To be perfectly honest and up front, I don't like Julia Roberts.  There!  I said it!  I know she's America's Sweetheart and everyone loves her, but I never found her to be a good actress and has coasted by all these years on her cuteness and her ability to get weepy on command.  However, the reason why Eat Pray Love wasn't good has nothing to do with her shortcomings.  This is the film version of the New York Times Bestseller by Elizabeth Gilbert and it's her memoir about her life and this experience she had.  It's gotta be hard for Gilbert to put up with criticism for this movie since the only thing to really not like about it is HER!  This film is over two hours long and every single second of it is dedicated to her and how unhappy she is because of...well, I don't know.  This woman has EVERYTHING and is still miserable.  Ironically funny though since the reoccurring theme in the film is that Americans don't know how to enjoy pleasure and really let themselves go.  The "problems" that Gilbert faces couldn't be more "American."  She's selfish.  She's rich.  She's unfeeling.  Does she learn anything by the end of the movie?  Sure she does.  After galavanting around the globe in paradise settings, not working, she damn well better or she should have her passport taken away and shoved down her throat.  Do I care at all that she changes by the end though?  Not one bit.  She gets to spend an entire year of her life living in Italy eating her way to happiness, India praying her way to forgiveness and Bali where she loves her way back to health.  Awe.  Poor her!  This book is insanely popular (my mother and brother are among the millions that love it) but I have NO IDEA why anyone would stomach this completely unlikable woman.  The sad part is that the movie looks amazing, which is a shock since it was directed by Glee's Ryan Murphy.  It also has some inspired and hypnotic performances by Billy Crudup (Big Fish, Watchmen), James Franco (Pineapple Express, Spiderman), and Javier Bardem (No Country for Old Men).  The best performance, however, comes from the amazing Richard Jenkins (Burn After Reading, Step Brothers) who should get Oscar notice once again for this.  His scene is so gut-wrenching and sad, but when you compare his pain to hers it just makes you not like her even more!  The movie reminded me an awful lot of Sophia Coppolla's Lost in Translation.  It's a story about someone who has it all and is still not happy.  Boo freaking hoo.  If that's a feeling you can identify with then consider yourself lucky and piss off.  I haven't read the book.  Maybe it's a lot deeper when it's her pure thoughts written on a page.  But when put on a movie screen, even when it's being crafted by great actors, it's just indulgent, petty, privileged and annoying.  Maybe it's called Eat Pray Love because those are three things that are a lot more enjoyable than watching this film. Eat Pray Love  (Rated PG-13) Gavin Grade: C
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The Expendables
by Gavin , posted Nov 2 2011 7:20PM
It's possible that you've never heard of this movie.  Unless you're a movie nerd and read that they were making this for the past 5 months, you may not have see one ad for it.  But The Expendables is an action movie written and directed by Sylvester Stallone and stars an all-star cast of anyone and everyone who has ever held a gun in a movie or ran away from an explosion in slow motion.  Besides Stallone, it also stars Jason Statham (The Transporter, Snatch), Jet Li (Hero, Fearless), Dolph Lundgren (Rocky IV, Masters of the Universe), Randy Couture (UFC fighter), Steve Austin (WWE wrestler), Mickey Rourke (Iron Man 2, The Wrestler) and even Bruce Willis and our Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger returns to acting in this.  I know what you're thinking, but trust me...it's good!  Most of this is attributed to the movie not taking itself too seriously.  The plot is straight-to-DVD quality and within the first five minutes you see man get shot in half, which is the sign of a real action movie according to my friend Dan.  But remember that Stallone is a decent writer and director.  Many people forget that he's an Academy Award-nominated writer and directed most of the Rocky series too.  He's not that great of an actor and he's pretty painful to look at since having all that plastic surgery, but he's a damn fine leader of this group of guns for hire...and boy do they have guns!  Big guns.  Big knives.  Big cars.  Big motorcycles.  Big explosions.  Big tattoos.  The movie drips with so much testosterone that if you go into the theater with a vagina, you leave with balls.  But things have changed a tiny bit since these guys kicked hell out of bad guys again...now they talk about their feelings and admit to going to therapy.  It's a sign of the times and a pretty funny theme in the film.  But don't let all those...feelings...fool you.  This movie is full of everything that you'd want from this pedigree.  The action sequences are so insane and violent that by the end of the movie you don't really know who's fighting who and why they're blowing up the stuff they're blowing up.  All you know is that it's AWESOME and you don't want it to end.  The Expendables has the capability to get on the fast track to being a cult classic.  You can almost see the Expendables Drinking Game rules now: "1. Do a shot every time you see a cauliflower ear.  2.  Drink your beer whenever someone dies.  3.  Chug your beer whenever you see a tattoo."  And I have a feeling that Stallone would be okay with that, if that's the film's destiny.  That's one of the reasons why the movie is so enjoyable.  It didn't go into this hoping to be Oscar-nominated or bring respect back to some dusty old action relics.  He made it to have fun, kick ass and probably to overcompensate for a lot of small penises.  But let's face it, those are the three reasons you're going to see it too. The Expendables (Rated R) Gavin Grade: B+
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The Other Guys
by Gavin , posted Nov 2 2011 7:20PM
I still remember where I was the first time I saw Anchorman.  I went with my brother to an almost empty theater for a matinee show in Harrisburg, PA.  As soon as the movie started it had me laughing intensely within two minutes.  My brother and I, however, were the only people in the theater laughing at all, let alone at that veracity.  Anchorman rocketed to the top 3 funniest movies I ever saw (joining the ranks of The Big Lebowski and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, if you were interested).  Director/Writer Adam McKay and Will Ferrell tried to capture lightening in a bottle again with Talladega Nights a few years later and didn't come anywhere close.  Since The Other Guys is the pair's newest attempt at hitting that Anchorman target, I wasn't expecting magic.  After two minutes of the projector turning on though, it was clear that these two were back on their A Game.  This "buddy cop" comedy pairs the nerd with the benched badass like we've seen many times before.  Something about this though feels original, but I'm not sure why.  One reason could be the casting of Mark Wahlberg, who reminds me again and again how funny he can be.  The unlikely comedic duo of Wahlberg and Ferrell had me in stitches through 95% of this movie.  They improv banter that consists of debates over who would win in a fight - a lion or a school of tuna.  But Wahlberg brings a level of hero intensity that makes the over-the-top and VERY well done action sequences believable.  Michael Keaton (Batman, Toy Story 3) makes an awesome return to comedy playing the typical angry police chief.  Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson also make their duration of the film octane fueled and own the funniest scenes in the movie.  Eva Mendes (Bad Lieutenant, Hitch) holds her own against Ferrell and even matches his skills in her scenes too.  The Other Guys could've easily fallen into the same trash heap that Bruce Willis' Cop Out was but it felt different from the beginning.  It tip-toed in reality and fantasy throughout the entire film, just like Anchorman did, and  you rarely feel that it's pointless and unenjoyable.  The film is full of scenes that make you chuckle long after the movie is over and lines that you'll quote for years.  I'm sure it will get funnier and funnier the more times you watch it and actually impresses in the varsity-level directing that you would expect from an action film...not a comedy.  Make sure you stay through the end credits not just because of the hidden scene at the end but also because of the social message McKay and Ferrell want you to leave with that they show through graphics that feel like a short documentary for Michael Moore's book Stupid White Men.  It was refreshing and leaves you thinking as well.  I don't know if The Other Guys will join the elite on my list of favorite comedies just yet.  That's not the way favorite movies work.  I need to see if it stands the test of time.  I do think that it has the potential too and I personally can't wait to see it again. The Other Guys (Rated PG-13) Gavin Grade: A
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