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Jason's Blog



The Drug Known As Charlie Sheen and Other Celebrity "drugs"

My new favorite quote is from Charlie Sheen.  When asked if he was on drugs, Charlie responded, “I am on a drug.  It’s called Charlie Sheen”.   Watch the video of the promo here: Obviously the affects of “Charlie Sheen” are that the user parties with porn stars and threatens their boss. It got me wondering what other celebrity drugs would do if taken. Here are my thoughts. This is pure speculation: 1) “I’m on a drug. It’s called Justin Bieber”. Warning, taking Justin Bieber will cause young, teenage girls to scream, give white guys the ability to dance, and cause others to recognize your best personality trait as your hair. 2) “I’m on a drug. It’s called Lindsey Lohan”. Lindsey Lohan is the street name for a cocktail of ALL known illegal, and prescription drugs. Hits of Lindsey Lohan can't be purchased. They can only be stolen. 3) “I’m on a drug. It’s called Miley Cyrus”. Be very careful when obtaining Miley Cyrus. Miley Cyrus is a very safe, placebo type drug until it ages 17 years. At that point, affects the incredible urge to take part in inappropriate sexual behavior, willingness to appear in creepy family photos, and an obnoxious, unrelenting drive to party in the USA. 4) “I’m on a drug. It’s called Kim Kardashian”. Taking Kim Kardashian will result in bloating, fullness, water retention, and loss of brain function. The first three side affects are exclusively seen in the buttocks of the user. 5) “I’m on a drug. It’s called Mel Gibson”. The most unpredictable of all the “celebrity” drugs. The Mel Gibson produces a high that you’ll never see coming. After taking a hit of Mel Gibson, violent outbursts are likely against your loved ones, which will put your career in jeopardy. Oh and you hate Jews.
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