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SarcMark

Here is a commercial promoting the official new punctuation for sarcasm:
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DJ Earworm - United State of Pop 2009

DJ Earworm did a mash-up of all the most popular songs from the past year. Watch the pretty cool video here: Click here to download the song from DJEarworm.com.
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"Two Thousand and Ten" or 20-10

If you have been calling the new year "twenty-ten" you have been saying it wrong. According to the National Association of Good Grammar, the new year and all of the rest of the years in this century should be said "two thousand and ten", "two thousand and eleven", etc. Here is an article from the SF Chronicle: 2010: 'Twenty ten' vs. 'two thousand ten'
How do you say "2010"?
Coming off of "two thousand nine," you'll probably say "two thousand ten." In fact, 4 out of 5 YouTube videos randomly reviewed by The Chronicle have people pronouncing it that way. But you would be wrong, so wrong, according to the National Association of Good Grammar. "NAGG has decided to step in and decree that (2010) should officially be pronounced 'twenty ten,' and all subsequent years should be pronounced as 'twenty eleven,' 'twenty twelve,' etc.," proclaims the association's news release. The National Association of Good Grammar - essentially a guy named Tom Torriglia and some friends who also paid attention in English class - say people have been mispronouncing the year for 10 years. "NAGG is here to put everybody back on the correct path," Torriglia said by phone from his home in San Francisco. "We lost the battle when we went from 1999 to 2000 - but now we're hoping to win the war." The "20" should have been pronounced "twenty" all along, he said, pointing out that every year in the 20th century was pronounced "nineteen something." " 'Twenty' follows 'nineteen.' 'Two thousand' does not follow 'nineteen.' It's logical."

Fighting for grammar

Companies pay Torriglia, who has written technical manuals for two decades, to be logical and clear in explaining the least clear concepts, like how to use their own computer software. He's also taught writing to aspiring technical writers and to junior college students. Torriglia created NAGG in 1986 when he found himself calling publications about their grammatically incorrect ads. "I would nag them," he said. Torriglia, who is writing a book he calls "The Grammar Police Never Sleep," believes the time has come to nag again. To punctuate the idea that "two thousand ten" is the wrong way to say it, Torriglia, 56, pointed out that no one would ever say, "I was born in one thousand nine hundred and fifty-three." Yet that's how people keep saying "2010." In one YouTube video, a preteen promises to make more YouTube videos in "two thousand ten." Another has a guy on a yellow dirt bike saying he's "amped about the all-new 'two thousand ten' " model. A third features people trying to design novelty eyeglasses in the shape of "two thousand ten." To Torriglia, it's relentless. "I'm hearing it on TV commercials. I heard an announcer say it during 'Monday Night Football.' You cringe." Torriglia cringes, anyway. But he's the kind of guy who cringes at the Safeway checkout line where the sign reads "10 items or less." "It should be fewer." He's right.

Maybe not

But what choice did anyone really have this past decade? Were they going to start off the new millennium with a "twenty oh oh" hiccup, while avoiding the melodious "two thousand"? There's a reason Arthur C. Clarke didn't call his book "Twenty Oh One: A Space Odyssey." It's been a difficult decade for Torriglia, phonologically speaking. "It was never 'two thousand nine' for me," he sighed. "It was always 'twenty aught nine.' " So the people hawking next year's car models, the newscasters on TV and anyone else with a reason to say "2010" aloud should embrace good grammar and say "twenty ten" right now, Torriglia said. Not exactly, according to noted linguistics Professor George Lakoff of UC Berkeley. "It's not wrong to say 'two thousand ten,' " Lakoff said. "And it's not like 'twenty ten' is the right way." His explanation involves cognitive reference points, standards of speech and recognizing as anachronistic the notion that grammar can be right or wrong as people and cultures evolve. Nevertheless, Lakoff predicted, " 'Twenty-ten' is gonna take over. It's shortest. It's easiest to understand." On that point - if not on the syntax - the master linguist and the grammar police agree. For more go to SFGate.com.
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Gifts Guys Hate to Receive

TheFrisky.com put out a list of things that guys hate to receive as gifts. Here are some of the things to avoid getting your man this holiday season: aftershave 1. Aftershave. Shaving stuff in general probably shouldn’t be given as gifts, unless you’re giving a really nice straight razor or something, but aftershave is one of the more thoughtless examples of gifts from this genre. giftcard 2. Gift Certificates/Cards. The gift certificate is a great way to take perfectly good money that works everywhere and make it completely useless at any place. Most of the time, a gift certificate is for a restaurant or store that no guy would go to, and even when it isn’t, it’s basically giving a guy money (regardless of what the stores tell you), which makes it a thoughtless gift. socks 3. Socks. Very few guys need socks, and if they do need socks, a pack costs $5. Getting socks as a gift is like getting a tire gauge or a pack of Bic pens or a week’s worth of toilet paper: totally utilitarian and completely unnecessary. supermantie 4. Ties. Really nice ties are actually a decent gift. However, most ties suck. Maybe 95 percent of all ties are designed by blind people who vomit on them. Most guys already have enough ties, and they’re fairly impersonal gifts. Ties are a great gift to get your father when you’re 13, but past that point, not so much. wallet 5. Wallets. Men like the wallets that they have—we don’t need new wallets. A well-designed wallet doesn’t impress us, nor does the material it’s made out of or how many compartments it has. We spend most of our time sitting on the thing. Any object that spends that much time pressed against an ass is a low concern. wrenchset 6. Tools. Like the ties, tools can be a cool gift, but too often women don’t check whether their guys have the tools in question before heading to the checkout counter. If you know that your guy wants a specific tool and you don’t know much about tool brands, get help from an older guy working at your local Home Depot (the younger guys are idiots) before buying. Otherwise, go with something else. For more go to thefrisky.com. What do you think? Comments below.
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Overused Phrases of the Decade

whatevs TheFrisky.com put out a list of the most overused phrases of the past decade. Check out the list here: 1. Wardrobe malfunction 2. Status update 3. Tweeted (as in “I just tweeted about that”) 4. “Cougar” to describe any attractive woman over the age of 35, who happens to be single, or any woman dating a man more than three years her junior. 5. The “clever” blending of two words to create one era-appropriate word, like “Staycation,” “bromance,” “Metrosexual,” “Recessionista,” and “Brangelina.” 6. “I just threw up a little in my mouth.” 7. Date Night 8. Getting anything “on,” like “getting my drink on.” 9. All IM- and text-inspired abbreviations: OMG, TMI, WTF, LMAO, ZOMG, and the granddaddy of them all, LOL. 10. “Hot mess” to describe anyone a little attractive whose sanity — or outfit — is questionable. i.e., Juliette Lewis. 11. The shortening of words — which we are definitely guilty of — like “whatevs,” “obvi,” and “totes.” 12. “That’s what she said.” 13. Seriously. Seriously? Seriously. 14. The word “amazing” to describe anything that isn’t actually amazing. 15. “That’s hot!” 16. Wuzzup! 17. Un/Friended (as in “I friended/unfriended him on Facebook”) 18. Beyotch 19. “Dude!” (As an exclamation or a greeting) 20. “What a douche.” 21. “Voted off,” thanks, primarily, to the number of reality shows that vote members off the island/out of the house/off the show. 22. “There’s an app for that.” 23. Sexting 24. “Like white on rice.” 25. “I’m over it.” For more go to thefrisky.com. What do you think? Comments below.
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What Your Christmas Tree Says About You

You can tell a lot about a person from their Christmas Tree: christmastree ARTIFICIAL OR REAL There are two types of people: Real Christmas tree people and artificial tree people. One is not better than the other, just different. If you are a person who likes real trees you probably like the outdoors. You enjoy creating an ambience that invokes smell as well as sight. Real tree people think that the experience of searching out the Christmas tree, chopping it down and dragging it back to the old homestead is all part of the fun. If you like artificial trees, you like an investment that lasts. You want something pretty, but don’t want to make a lot of fuss. Artificial tree owners can also be perfectionists. They don’t like to deal with gaps in the branches or dropping needles of a real tree. WHITE LIGHTS OR MULTICOLORED LIGHTS If you have white lights on your tree, you think of each light as a tiny star. White light people like simplicity. White lights convey the serenity of an “Oh, Holy Night.” Conversely, multicolored lights say, “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree.” People who like multicolored lights are party people. They like the festive feeling of multicolored lights because it reminds them of a disco or Las Vegas. To them, the holidays are one big party and everyone is invited. And it wouldn’t be too far out of the realm of possibility that when the holiday party rolls around, they might even don a strand of multicolored lights as if it were gay apparel. MATCHING OR ECLECTIC ORNAMENTS If you have a tree with an eclectic assortment of ornaments, each one having a special meaning or story, you value your past and family history. Perhaps it’s the clothespin reindeer your firstborn made in kindergarten or the delicate snowflake that Grandma crocheted. Each one is different; each one is special. They may not match, but it doesn’t matter to you. The decoration of an eclectic tree is often a group effort. Some people hang the ornaments as others string popcorn and cranberries. Even the littlest elves in the house take part in decorating the eclectic tree. A matchy-matchy ornament tree is usually a one-woman (or man) show: a person with a vision of what a perfectly coiffed tree should look like. Matching ornament people like order and consistency. They usually have a theme for their Christmas tree, such as Victorian, Old World or country. For the matching ornament people, the tree is the crowning glory, the pièce de r&233;sistance, of all the Christmas decorations. ANGEL OR STAR Angel people believe in a higher power guiding their lives and directing their path. Angel people might have, at some point, imagined what it would have been like to be in that choir of angels, as told of old, who sang to shepherds guarding their flocks by night that a babe was born in Bethlehem. Star people are the hopefuls, they hope for a better, brighter tomorrow. They are sign seekers. They lead their lives by sometimes imperceptible directional arrows. Star people will follow that little nudge inside of them that says, “Take cookies to your neighbor (peanut butter cookies with the chocolate kisses on top),” or “slip $20 into the bell ringer’s red bucket.” That’s it. That’s all you get for your free sampling. How did I do? Eerily close, eh? If you want a full Christmas Tree Prognostication, you’ll have to invite me to your holiday party. For more go to the GJSentinal.com. What do you think? Comments below.
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Things That Disappeared In The Last Decade

New York Magazine put out a list of things that were commonly-used, everyday items 10 years ago and are now obsolete. Here are a few things you may remember:

Answering Machine

answeringmachine

Lickable Stamps

New Stamps

Road Maps

roadmap

Cathode Ray Tube Television

Grunge vintage television

Incandescent Light Bulbs

lightbulb

Smoking in bars

ashtray

Fax Machines

faxmachine

Cassette Tape

cassette

Floppy Disk

floppy

Phone Book

phonebook For the full list go to NYMag.com. What do you think? Comments below.
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Neil Diamond's Chanukah Song

Neil Diamond does a rendition of Adam Sandler's "The Chanukah Song." What do you think? Comments below.
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Worst Christmas Ever

Here is a story of raw sewage poring into a couple houses in a neighborhood in Albany, GA. Worst Christmas ever...

Raw sewage explodes into GA homes

ALBANY, GA (WALB) –  The northwest Albany homes were flooded with raw sewage, and the owners say it's the city's fault. Two homeowners on Forest Glen Drive were forced from their homes a week ago when sewage began pouring from the toilets with such force it splattered on their walls. They'll have to replace carpeting, hardwood floors, insulation, and duct work under their homes. It could be six to eight weeks before the families can even think about returning home. The Powell's had to throw out mattress sets they bought earlier this year. Five rooms in their home were damaged, and they're not the only ones. Inside Helen and Orvis Powell's home was a sea of black sludge. They're son captured the damage. It was the same situation at the Freeney's next door. Fred Freeney heard it coming. "This bathroom, I heard this gurgling noise, and knew something was about to happen." Before he could turn around, both toilets erupted. "It got out of hand, the towels wouldn't stop it." In six to eight minutes it filled the house. If that wasn't bad enough imagine the smell. "Absolutely horrible and it's the single worst thing that's ever happened to me or us." "Frustrating, Traumatic, a lot of tears and we do laugh because we know that god is taking care of us," said Linda Freeney. "Three and a half years ago all of these floors were new." ServePro has been cleaning up the damage classifies the mess as one of the worst. "This is considered class three or category three or black water," said Paul Dewan, ServPro Production Manager. With heavy residue throughout the affected areas the first step of the clean up was to get carpeting, flooring, and furniture out. "Harder surfaces can be cleaned, some things can be cleaned and sanitized and sealed but generally any soft materials once it gets into the materials that's all that we can do with them," said Dewan. Both families say the city responded quickly, and has been helpful with their cleanup, but for both the Freeney's and Powell's they won't be home for Christmas. City officials didn't want to talk with us on camera, but said they were fixing a nearby blockage when these houses were damaged. They say they're still investigating to figure out what happened. The families say the city told them they are responsible for the damage. City officials say if they determine the city is at fault, they will compensate the two families. ServePro is still working on estimates for the families. (story from WALB.com) What do you think? Comments below.
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Mysterious Spirals Appear Above Norway

Strange spirals appeared above Norway the other night. [gallery columns="2"] Here is an article about the mysterious lights from dailymail.co.uk: Anyone for some Arctic roll? Mystery as spiral blue light display hovers above Norway What's blue and white, squiggly and suddenly appears in the sky? If you know the answer, pop it on a postcard and send it to the people of Norway, where this mysterious light display baffled residents yesterday. Speculation was increasing today that the display was the result of an embarrassing failed test launch of a jinxed new Russian missile. The Bulava missile was test-fired from the Dmitry Donskoi submarine in the White Sea early on Wednesday but failed at the third stage, say newspapers in Moscow today. This emerged despite earlier reports denying a missile launch yesterday. Even early today there was no formal confirmation from the Russian Defence Ministry. The light appears to be unconnected with the aurora borealis, or northern lights, the natural magnetic phenomena that can often be viewed in that part of the world. The mystery began when a blue light seemed to soar up from behind a mountain in the north of the country. It stopped mid-air, then began to move in circles. Within seconds a giant spiral had covered the entire sky. Then a green-blue beam of light shot out from its centre - lasting for ten to 12 minutes before disappearing completely. Onlookers describing it as 'like a big fireball that went around, with a great light around it' and 'a shooting star that spun around and around'. Yesterday a Norwegian defence spokesman said the display was most likely from a failed Russian test launch. Geophysical Observatory researcher Truls Lynne Hansen agreed, saying the missile had likely veered out of control and exploded, and the spiral was light reflecting on the leaking fuel. But last night Russia denied it had been conducting missile tests in the area. A Moscow news outlet quoted the Russian Navy as denying any rocket launches from the White Sea area. Norway should be informed of such launches under international agreements, it was stressed. However this morning media reports claimed a missile had indeed been launched from the White Sea. Test firings are usually made from the White Sea, close to the Norwegian Arctic region. Kommersant newspaper reported today that a test-firing before dawn on Wednesday coincided with the light show in the northern sky. It also emerged today that Russia last week formally notified Norway of a window when a missile test might be carried out. This included a seven hour period early on Wednesday at the time when the lights were seen. The submarine Dmitry Donskoy went to sea on Monday, ahead of the test, and some reports suggest the vessel is now back in port. A Russian military source said today that 'the third stage of the rocket did not work'. The Russian Defence Ministry, with characteristic secrecy, has so far been unavailable for comment. The Bulava, despite being crucial to Russia's plans to revamp its weaponry, is becoming an embarrassment after nine failed launches in 13 tests, prompting calls for it to be scrapped. In theory, it has a range of 5,000 miles and could carry up to ten nuclear weapons bound for separate targets. A previous failure in July  forced the resignation of Yury Solomonov, the director of the Moscow Institute of Thermal Technology which is responsible for developing the missile. However, he is now working as chief designer on the jinxed project. The Norwegian Meteorological Institute was flooded with telephone calls after the light storm yesterday morning. Totto Eriksen, from Tromsø, told VG Nett: 'It spun and exploded in the sky,' He spotted the lights as he walked his daughter Amalie to school. He said: 'We saw it from the Inner Harbor in Tromsø. It was absolutely fantastic. 'It almost looked like a rocket that spun around and around and then went diagonally down the heavens. 'It looked like the moon was coming over the mountain, but then came something completely different.' Celebrity astronomer Knut Jørgen Røed Ødegaard said he had never seen anything like the lights. He said: 'My first thought was that it was a fireball meteor, but it has lasted far too long. 'It may have been a missile in Russia, but I can not guarantee that it is the answer.' Air traffic control in Tromsō claimed the light show lasted 'far too long to be an astronomical phenomenon'.
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Perez Hilton Ripped By LA TV News

Perez Hilton reportedly got in a quarrel with KTLA an LA TV news station earlier this week. Here is a video of a KTLA news anchor ripping into Perez Hilton:

What do you think? Email us at wakeupcall@endonline.com.
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