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Things TV Commercials Assume

Cracked.com came out with a list of the "6 Most Baffling Things Every TV Ad Assumes are True." Here is what they came up with: #6 Only Women Eat Yogurt In a shocking display of arrogance, yogurt companies determined at some point that half the population on the planet was no longer a suitable audience for their product. In the commercial universe, men don't eat yogurt, and in some cases, can't even see it. #5 One Car on the Road Per Night At some point, auto manufacturers realized that most cars look kick-ass at night. They also must have realized that showing any other cars on the road in a commercial would only confuse the viewer, because we are, after all, stupid. The solution: pretending only one car can exist on the road at a time. #4 Dog and Cat Food Is Delicious Fancy Feast saves you the shame of serving your cat the same chili on a paper plate you'll be eating for dinner. Cats are fickle and refuse to eat meals that don't include at least three types of slow roasted animals. In fact, advertisers want you to know that you're kind of a jackass for not eating cat food too. There's even garnish in the meal. Garnish. Let's be honest, a cat would be more thrilled by a severed bird head. #3 Cosmetics and Candy Are the Same For some inexplicable reason, cosmetics are marketed as candy. In advertisers' quest to market makeup as dessert, chocolate and foundation are the worst culprits. They have identical properties in commercials... #2. Your Feet Are Haunted Ads want to warn you that at some point in your life, your feet will screw you over. Everyone will inevitably get athlete's foot or foot fungus and it's literally crippling. Your symptoms will look like something from The Exorcist: according to what we see on tv commercials, you feet may spew green liquid... or catch on fire. #1 Your Body Is Filled With Windshield Wiper Fluid By far the most baffling commercial pretense is the one surrounding bodily fluids. There are likely hundreds of little girls across the country who have no idea their first period won't be the color and consistency of mouthwash. I'm sympathetic to an advertiser's squeamishness around showing a pad actually at work, but the fact that they've apparently settled on Windex as the stand-in is a little odd.

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03/29/2010 5:04AM
Things TV Commercials Assume
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04/10/2010 5:53AM
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04/10/2010 11:05AM
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