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Chris K

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The Wake Up Call's Blog



Things Women Feel Men Spend Too Much On

Here is a list of things that women say men spend too much money on: studded teddy 1 Booze There is nothing in the world that a good bottle of whiskey or glass of Scotch couldn't fix. Except herpes. 2 Strip clubs The beer is way more expensive here. Everything is way more expensive at a strip club. If I pay you money, will you gyrate on me and pretend you like being with me for the entirety of "Pour Some Sugar on Me"? Excellent.  Women are actually very right on this front. This place is a waste of hard earned money. 3 Cigars Usually reserved for the birth of babies, celebrations and golf outings, but sometimes reserved for just relaxing on the back porch; cigars are another of the bonding tools men sometimes go overboard on. Whether it's trying to find a way to get a box of Cohiba Robustos delivered to our house without United States customs agents involved or buying a solid gold cigar cutter that may or may not have once been used by Stalin-we will sometimes go the extra mile for a good smoke. 4 Barbecues Do we have enough charcoal? Is this going to be enough chicken? I think we are going to need more beer. Maybe we should look at getting a new grill while we're near Lowes. Ice? I almost forgot the ice.vTwo hours later and we leave $1000 over our allotted budget with enough alcohol to get the entire state of Rhode Island drunk. Don't ask me how, but it always happens when guys have a cook out. 5 Gambling Men are bred from a very early age to be competitive. Winning means being right and temporarily feeling smarter than someone else; in return those people have to give you money for being wrong. It's the perfect past time for men. Of course, the line between a few hands of poker and something like gambling your life savings on an exacta bet with horses named "Nyquil" and "Haggard McSteelhoves," is pretty wide in most. But all men will usually bet on football, cards, and golf. Just enough things to get us in trouble. 6 Sporting events It is bonding the best way men know how: By getting drunk on $12 beers and throwing AA batteries at Barry Bonds in left field. Men are territorial, so they usually have one team they lived near or rooted for growing up and then one team that they loathe with every ounce of their being. We will buy stuff with our team logo on it.   Men will pack into stadiums of 50,000 at a time and root for men who can hit a ball really far with a stick or run faster than us. There will be nachos and hot dogs and beer. There will be fist fights. 7 Golf Not all guys enjoy golf, but a good number of us do. Lots of expensive equipment to buy. There are always new putters and better sand wedges and new Nike drivers with heads the size of large babies. There are always newer alloys and more precise ball trajectory. 8 Cars Obviously, cars are things that men will shell out large amounts of cash for. There are always new interiors, better speakers and even fuzzier dice to purchase for our automobile. We've got tinted windows, double deuces, and spinners. Then there are Armor All wipes, car washes and speeding tickets. Then those tickets lead to higher insurance premiums. It's a vicious cycle of man vs. posted speed limit that ends up getting our bank involved. Not to mention you have to buy them. Usually. Cars have become a black hole of misplaced funds in the wallets of many great men throughout the years. 9 Women We spend $80 on a bouquet of flowers that we know are going to be dead and gone in a week. We will hand over hard earned money to get you a box of chocolates we are pretty sure you will never eat. What would possess a human being to spend over $100 on a stuffed animal? Or over $10,000 on an engagement ring? Not all men make a lot of money. Not all men can buy a special woman the diamond rings, and pearls, and the jet-ski she never knew she wanted, with our paychecks. But you can rest assured ladies, that what we do make, we will always use to keep a smile on your face.

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02/09/2010 6:13AM
Things Women Feel Men Spend Too Much On
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